Throughout our lives i am certain that journeys are given to us to reveal a various cocktail of things, our character, our hopes and dreams, our abilities and even our determination, yet none of these journeys can be greater than to win a trophy for our achievement's on completion, for me....the greatest reward is that of a good woman's heart. I am not comparing a woman's heart to a trophy or am i? A trophy is a symbol of a sense of achievement, honour, determination hard work and a focus that goes un-distracted. The reward that I aim for is to be allowed into that very secret place in a woman's heart. They all have one, its part of what being a woman is. But to get to that place, if the heart is worth the journey then the heart is worth the sacrifice.
When a long distance runner searches for a race, im sure that he searches for the one that would give him the most honour. That people would be in awe that he had achieved such a pain staking journey to the finishing line, that his endurance would be without doubt visible to even the untrained eye. How many of us can actually run a marathon? 26 miles of pounding step after step onto the hard concrete of city streets, despite the weather conditions, despite the muscle aches and most definitely despite the "wall". They say, that when a runner is near to the end of his race he hits this invisible "wall" that challenges him or her more than the race itself. At this point is where you see their true character. Do they quit, or do they continue? Do they rest and be overtaken by another competitor or do they fight with everything they have left within them. The only way through that wall is to draw strength on the times and challenges that have gone before them. You can't have a tomato without having a tomato plant grow the tomato. This takes time, watering, tender loving care and endurance and to find a way of battling against the storms of life. The reward of crossing that finishing line for the runner is their focus, its what they have spent days, weeks, months training for, and when they do cross that line they can sleep peacefully knowing that they ran the race and didn't give up, that they kept focussed on their reward despite the obstacles.
So if the reward of crossing that final line is their focus, how much more can the reward be for winning someone's heart? If the heart is given instantly, then the giver dosen't realise the preciousness of it. But if the woman knows how special her heart is then in her wisdom she will hold onto it until she is absolutely certain that the man has run the race and has the endurance and commitment to continue despite distractions, obstacles, easier races and even feelings of doubt of their own abilities.
I can not speak for all males, but for me.......to be allowed into that secret garden, then it is going to cost me something, in fact it will cost me alot personally and if it dosen't then she is not worth it. It is going to push me to my limits, the journey will reveal to me my own abilities and strengths and weaknesses, but if i stay focussed on my reward then i have the same chance as anybody else, but without knowing if i will cross that finish line and not allowing my own doubts to trip me up along my way, then to run with my head held high and constantly looking at what i want needs to be the rules for this race.
Even if i do get to that place in a woman's heart it does not mean that i could give up and put my feet up and think "i'm here, you are not moving me out" NO! The journey to that special place is only the beginning. In fact, i think it is easier to get there than it is to stay there. Especially if there are past hurts floating around, then it will be a constant journey of paying attention, observing and learning every minute of every day.
A few years ago while in the funeral trade i witnessed something that has stayed with me. One day we got a call to go pick up a deceased man from his home, and upon arrival we found notes on the table by the front door to the milkman, the newspaper boy and the electric company, notes of final payment for the outstanding amounts. My colleague and i walked into the front room and it was there that it took my breath away. The husband had heart problems and was given a few months to live, but his wife couldn't bear to be without him and on the sofa were two elderly people holding hands, both taken the same amount of pills and overdosed 15 seconds apart. This spoke of lots of things to me, love, commitment, togetherness but it spoke of something else which i have just realised in the last 2 minutes......it spoke of him running the race, the race to stay in her secret place. He had to work to stay there, but she allowed him. That picture of these two people stays in my mind and i am grateful and so privileged to witness not only love, but completeness on that Sunday morning.
I do have a woman in mind that has actually without even knowing it been the inspiration for this particular story and when i think about her, when i look at her, it dawns on me very quickly that i need to get into training and although i do not even know if i will cross that finishing line, i do know this....if i don't train, if i don't try, if it dosen't cost me something then i will never know what it is like to be in that secret place of a woman's heart. I am sure that the reward of winning a race becomes more precious with every step taken.
The un-nerving thing about starting this particular journey is that it has two parts, the first...... is that i know however hard i work the final decision will be hers, and second .....just like a marathon, i know i am not the only competitor. The reward is her heart....... which can only be described as something precious.
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong.
I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you
I'd go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet.
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love
Make you feel my love - Bob Dylan
© Travelling Boy content belongs to Philip D Norris
Sunday, 3 October 2010
Friday, 1 October 2010
Being watched
I have seen some wonderful things in my life, but none as wonderful as my older brother. He was brave, wise and beautiful, but most of all, he was my friend. All the chicks wanted to be with him, all the guys wanted to be like him. He used to say that this bracelet that he wore around his ankle was a mark of honour and the number engraved upon it was indeed the amount of times that a father had approached him in the hope to make a match for his daughter. But i think a more understandable reason was that it was a constant reminder of his rebellious nature regarding the times that he played up at bedtime and the number is actually a record of the times my parents smacked him for not obeying them. He was a real high flyer and a good teacher of the ways of this world. When we were young we used to go on adventures together and we would experience some amazing things.
Despite the good times, i cannot forget this particular day. The air was clear and it was time for adventure. Turree and i woke up as the light came to say hello and after singing our morning songs we left the warmth and comfort of our home with exploring as our focus. We would see some colours that reminded us of our cousins in far away places, colours of a richness and a warmth. On our travels we had seen big silver birds with fire coming out from behind them. These masters of the skies would swoop and dive and move faster than the fastest eagle. They were big and they made a loud noise. We would try and be like them, we would fly through the sky after each other, going one way and another at high speeds. Our wings would be outstretched to allow more speed to catapult us forward. My trusted wing commander and i were kings in the air, a team that could predict each others moves. We flew through the air like a big fish travels through the water, gracefully and with power. Lifting our wings a little we would turn and dive, the sound of the air against our feathers would remind us of grandma's rumberling stomach.
I looked down to the ground to see creatures moving without feathers. These creatures were clothed in many different colours. They were many different sizes and some...... some would have something attached to them which had a fire on the end and smoke came from it.
" Look at those down there Turree"
"Where? " he said,
"Down there, see the one with the smoke?"
"Who maaaaaan?" was the answer i heard.
We both laughed because Turree had a tendency to speak with a slur in his voice as if he had been inhaling some of that smoke that we had seen, but eventually he saw who i was talking about and with his laughter he swooped straight into a mid-flight roll, but this was his final act of aerial acrobatics. I did not know that this day was going to come, this was something he had never taught me and something we had never discussed. As he rolled he laughed, and as he laughed he rolled more. He started to fall from the sky, out of control and couldn't recover. Still laughing he turned over and over and was heading for one of the big things that come out of the ground, the large things that blow in the wind that look like they are standing on one leg...
"Tuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrree" i shouted in desperation. It was too late, he could not get back in control of his spinning and went face first, died instantly, and his body fell to the ground with a thump.
I flew back to my home, told my parents what had happened and while my mother comforted me, my father said...........
"Do not worry my son, Turree will be in feathen, for this is where all good birds go, but it is up to you to keep him alive in your memory. We believe that if you keep someone in your memory, they will never die."
The days went past and i had lost my desire to explore. I watched the heat giver rise in the morning and go to sleep in the dark. Every time it appeared i would try and sing my morning song, but it was hard. I missed my flying companion, my brother and my best friend.
One dark time i was looking at the lights above me, everyone was sleeping and it was very quiet. It was then that it suddenly dawned on me that I was doing everything that Turree did the opposite to. He was life, he was adventurous, he was brave and here i was hiding, afraid and not living my life as i should.
The cold season had come and gone and I had to force myself. It was not easy to fly alone. I had got used to having somebody look out for me, protect me, make me laugh and even find me food when i didnt have the energy, but this was a time where i had to really spread my wings. To learn to fly by myself, to learn to be safe, to learn to provide for myself and to keep the passion of exploring alive, for two reasons.......for Turree and for me.
I sat on the edge of my home high in the air, i said to myself.....
"Turree, give me the strength, the passion, the ability to keep flying"
It was at that moment that my heart was filled with peace and i heard my mother say to me
"Watch out for that turree, because he's watching out for you"
I jumped, i opened my wings and i felt the air again. The rush of adrenaline filled me as i swooped down and around the various obstacles that crossed my path, my desire to explore started to cloth me again like the warmth of the morning after the dark. I wanted to explore more, i wanted to go to places i had never been, to see new things, new colours and to meet other explorers. I wanted to live my life for the sake of Turree, my trusted friend and brother.
I noticed alot of things on those early journeys, but i have never experienced anything as wonderful as imagining my brother flying with me again, because i too now believe that when i keep his memory alive......he is always with me.
© Travelling Boy content belongs to Philip D Norris
Despite the good times, i cannot forget this particular day. The air was clear and it was time for adventure. Turree and i woke up as the light came to say hello and after singing our morning songs we left the warmth and comfort of our home with exploring as our focus. We would see some colours that reminded us of our cousins in far away places, colours of a richness and a warmth. On our travels we had seen big silver birds with fire coming out from behind them. These masters of the skies would swoop and dive and move faster than the fastest eagle. They were big and they made a loud noise. We would try and be like them, we would fly through the sky after each other, going one way and another at high speeds. Our wings would be outstretched to allow more speed to catapult us forward. My trusted wing commander and i were kings in the air, a team that could predict each others moves. We flew through the air like a big fish travels through the water, gracefully and with power. Lifting our wings a little we would turn and dive, the sound of the air against our feathers would remind us of grandma's rumberling stomach.
I looked down to the ground to see creatures moving without feathers. These creatures were clothed in many different colours. They were many different sizes and some...... some would have something attached to them which had a fire on the end and smoke came from it.
" Look at those down there Turree"
"Where? " he said,
"Down there, see the one with the smoke?"
"Who maaaaaan?" was the answer i heard.
We both laughed because Turree had a tendency to speak with a slur in his voice as if he had been inhaling some of that smoke that we had seen, but eventually he saw who i was talking about and with his laughter he swooped straight into a mid-flight roll, but this was his final act of aerial acrobatics. I did not know that this day was going to come, this was something he had never taught me and something we had never discussed. As he rolled he laughed, and as he laughed he rolled more. He started to fall from the sky, out of control and couldn't recover. Still laughing he turned over and over and was heading for one of the big things that come out of the ground, the large things that blow in the wind that look like they are standing on one leg...
"Tuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrree" i shouted in desperation. It was too late, he could not get back in control of his spinning and went face first, died instantly, and his body fell to the ground with a thump.
I flew back to my home, told my parents what had happened and while my mother comforted me, my father said...........
"Do not worry my son, Turree will be in feathen, for this is where all good birds go, but it is up to you to keep him alive in your memory. We believe that if you keep someone in your memory, they will never die."
The days went past and i had lost my desire to explore. I watched the heat giver rise in the morning and go to sleep in the dark. Every time it appeared i would try and sing my morning song, but it was hard. I missed my flying companion, my brother and my best friend.
One dark time i was looking at the lights above me, everyone was sleeping and it was very quiet. It was then that it suddenly dawned on me that I was doing everything that Turree did the opposite to. He was life, he was adventurous, he was brave and here i was hiding, afraid and not living my life as i should.
The cold season had come and gone and I had to force myself. It was not easy to fly alone. I had got used to having somebody look out for me, protect me, make me laugh and even find me food when i didnt have the energy, but this was a time where i had to really spread my wings. To learn to fly by myself, to learn to be safe, to learn to provide for myself and to keep the passion of exploring alive, for two reasons.......for Turree and for me.
I sat on the edge of my home high in the air, i said to myself.....
"Turree, give me the strength, the passion, the ability to keep flying"
It was at that moment that my heart was filled with peace and i heard my mother say to me
"Watch out for that turree, because he's watching out for you"
I jumped, i opened my wings and i felt the air again. The rush of adrenaline filled me as i swooped down and around the various obstacles that crossed my path, my desire to explore started to cloth me again like the warmth of the morning after the dark. I wanted to explore more, i wanted to go to places i had never been, to see new things, new colours and to meet other explorers. I wanted to live my life for the sake of Turree, my trusted friend and brother.
I noticed alot of things on those early journeys, but i have never experienced anything as wonderful as imagining my brother flying with me again, because i too now believe that when i keep his memory alive......he is always with me.
© Travelling Boy content belongs to Philip D Norris
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